My Acoustic Bass Made Me Cry…

My acoustic bass made me cry, a strange admission I admit, but an honest one. I will say I have had a bitch of time recently with a real bad period of darkness and despair which was followed by some rather rapid and mixed moods. This basically sees me energised and manic and then hour or so later (sometimes longer if I’m lucky) a sudden plunge downwards. The depression is no easy ride but it is constant, as is the creative hyper energised periods which I generally deal with pretty well. I must add that at the moment due to having buggered, broken and damaged foot that has not settled or healed in 4 months it has meant I have not been able to exercise to my usual level to burn off the excessive energy I have during hyper periods. The energetic and physical pursuits I generally employ are kettlebell, getting out on the downs and coast on my mountain bike, walking very fast everywhere…oh, and of course sex. There is so much energy that exists or builds up that times it needs to be vented. There are less physical practices I find very good like reike or taoist breathing exercises. I have adapted and employed a lot of taoist techniques over the last 12 years stemming centrally from my introduction to Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia.

But lets get beyond that because it gets boring covering my special needs, lets instead consider the healing power of music. There I was in shitsville bouncing up and down like a rubber ball and I simply played my bass, something I could not do until that point and when I had finished I cried because it acted as a meditation and release. This gave my mind some of the peace it needed from it’s overactivity and in turn this acted as a means to release the stored up negative energy through my tears…. reiki is also good but it is not part of the musical angle I’m edging for in this blog. A majority of people don’t perform or play music but the majority of us with a soul listen to music and this is an incredibly rewarding experience.

Music regular saves me from myself, saved myself sounds rather dramatic, but it does convey how I feel. For months I have not recorded anything, but in the last couple of weeks I have got back into my routine of waking, sorting myself out and then recording lead vocals or whatever else maybe required. It’s such a great release physically, emotionally and mentally. I have been busy putting everything together, as well as drumming up promo interest in the new Slave Manifesto album release which as left me little time to do any recording… or to be honest, I have not had all important creative desire to do so. I have however been writing and rehearsing my fourth album which will involve a collaboration with a graphic illustrator, I’ll say no more at this point but it is a project that has fantastic potential… it will be worth getting hold of a physical copy because I feel it will be a very interesting album on many levels, musically, artistically and mentally. The vocals I’m currently recording are for the Slave Love album.

Emotion and depth (I find) are essential things if music (and the artist) are to have any genuine resonance and connection with people. That’s the music I love, and I know so many others do. The music that you connect with, that speaks to you, has the blood, guts and energy that captures a feeling or moment in time. Songs that have an essence of something real and true. Music can heal, act as a release or merely entertain. You can feel part of the artist, the time, their energy or maybe you get something else from it, but the fact is it is there for anyone to tap into at anytime once captured by a recording. Music by numbers, the plastic pop game, it serves it’s purpose, but it is vacuous for a reason, it is not supposed to engage you, it’s elevator music for the masses and at the end of the day there is a time and a place for music with depth, and a time for something lighter. But whatever music we listen to we are creatures ruled by emotions and music has this in abundance. A song or album can act as a signpost and reference point for moments and memories that occur in our lives, our friends and our loved ones lives, whether these be happy, sad, love filled, love scarred, quite, loud…

I must say I have been greatly enjoying the comments and interactions with these Tales from the Engine Room blogs.

with love and faith

Ruben x

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